If your friend, partner, or family member is having trouble with their finances, there are steps you can take to help. Here’s what to keep in mind when supporting a loved one struggling with debt
Spot the signs
When it comes to debt, our loved ones may be struggling in silence. It’s not always easy for them to be open and honest about their finances, especially if the situation has started taking its toll on their mental health. That’s why it’s important to look out for signs that they’re finding it tough to manage their money. This is even more crucial if they’ve had debt problems in the past.
Everyone reacts differently to debt trouble, but you might notice changes in your loved one’s behaviour or mood. They could start showing symptoms of depression or anxiety, be more withdrawn than usual, cancel plans, or be more secretive. You might also be concerned about their debt management if they stop opening bills, suddenly cut back on their spending (or seem to be living beyond their means) or have lost income recently due to redundancy or illness.
Start the conversation
Talking about debt can be difficult but having the conversation is often the first step your loved one needs to take before they’re ready to find a debt management solution. If you want to encourage your loved one to speak to you about their finances, start by choosing an appropriate time and place to talk.
Ideally, find a private place where you won’t be overheard and choose a time when you can focus all your attention on them. Taking the time to listen is essential; don’t jump straight to suggesting solutions, it’s vital they get to explain their own perspective and experience before you try to offer advice.
Talking about debt doesn’t have to feel like a big deal. Consider bringing the topic up casually at first. Perhaps you could comment that they haven’t seemed like themselves recently? Reassure them that you’re always there for them if they do want to talk, you care about them, and you won’t judge them.
Signpost services
If your loved one tells you that they need help with tackling their debt (this might not happen in your first conversation), then you can support them to access useful services. While you can’t do this on their behalf, you can suggest resources, stay with them while they make the phone call, or help them create a budget.
Depending on their individual circumstances, you could point them towards a charity like StepChange, the Citizens Advice Bureau, or the National Debtline. Alternatively, you could help them get in touch with an expert debt advisor so they can start exploring the debt management solutions available to them.
Share others’ experiences
One thing that could help your loved one feel better about their debt is to let them know that they’re not alone. Make it clear that financial difficulties can affect anyone, and you’d never think any less of them for struggling with money. In fact, according to the Financial Conduct Authority, 7.4 million adults in the UK found it tough to pay their bills and debt repayments in 2024. This might also be a good time to share your own story if you’ve ever had debt problems in the past and found ways to get back on track.
Act natural
While your loved one’s money troubles might be top of mind, remember they’re more than their finances. To support a friend or family member through debt, try to maintain a relationship that doesn’t revolve around managing money. Tell them that you’re happy to talk money at any time, but it’s also okay if you tackle different topics when you meet up for coffee or a pint. Plan fun activities to share with them (bonus points if they’re free), share your own worries with them, and help them remember that they’re intrinsically valuable, no matter how much money they do or don’t have.
Take care of yourself
It’s a cliché but it’s true; you can’t pour from an empty cup. When supporting a loved one through debt, don’t ignore your own mental health. Prioritise the things that make you feel good, whether that’s eating well and getting a good night’s sleep, spending time with other friends or family members, or pursuing your passions. The happier and healthier you are, the more energy you’ll have to help your loved one.
You also shouldn’t feel pressured to lend them money, act as a guarantor on a new loan, or start paying for everything when you meet up. Lending money to loved ones might feel like a good idea at the time, but it can often negatively impact your relationship in the long-term. Of course, you might not be able to help financially even if you wanted to. Instead, explain that you still love them, and you want to help in other ways, whether that’s by being there to listen or supporting them as they seek debt advice.
Have a loved one who needs help with their debt? Call our friendly team of experts on 0161 8260 585 or send a message here